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【TOP 20】Tommy Cooper Quotes - WhatsApp Status | Page-1

Are you looking for Tommy Cooper quotes? If Yes, then you have reached at right place because this page has a collection of popular Tommy Cooper quotes which are updated in 2024. Following are the list of some top Tommy Cooper quotes, You can copy and paste below quotes and share with your friend and family on whatsapp, facebook, twitter.

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

British Comedian Funny

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

Funny Quote of the Day

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

British Comedian Funny Quote of the Day

So I went to the dentist. He said

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought,

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books."

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

British Comedian Funny

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.

British Comedian Funny Quote of the Day

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

British Comedian Funny

A policeman stopped me and said:

A policeman stopped me and said: "Would you please blow into this bag, sir?" I said: "What for, officer?" He said: "My chips are too hot."

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said,

So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "break my arms."

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already! - Tommy Cooper Quotes

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already!

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.

Editor's Pick Funny Quote of the Day

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

Music

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'

Livelihood Money

My wife had a go at me last night. She said,

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, "You'll drive me to my grave." I had the car out in thirty seconds.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

British Comedian Funny

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience! - Tommy Cooper Quotes

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

British Comedian Funny

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

British Comedian Funny

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'

British Comedian Funny

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